Jamaican Club Sandwich

I laugh at your KFC double down. Friendly's Grilled Cheese burger is but a crude reflection of what could be. Behold the Jamaican club sandwich. A traditional club with turkey, bacon, cheddar and tomato but with Jamaican beef patties replacing the bread.

I would also like to see a club sandwich baked into a Jamaican patty.

This and more like it are from Insanewiches.com

The ABCs of Google search bar

The Google Search bar in Firefox has an "auto complete" function. Start typing and Google will guess where your search will go. Given that is probably based on the frequency and prevalence of these terms, it is another cool way to feel out the zeitgeist of the web. This was another draft post from a few years ago, so some of the autocomplete words changed since then. Now I have an ABC timecapsule of 2008.

2008

2010

A is for Amazon B is for bebo C is for craigslist D is for dictionary E is for ebay F is for facebook G is for gmail H is for hotmail I is for imdb J is for jobs K is for Kelly blue book L is for Lowes M is for myspace N is for next O is for orkut P is for photobucket Q is for qvc R is for runescape S is for Sears T is for Target U is for utube V is for verizon wireless W is for weather X is for xbox Y is for youtube Z is for zip codes

A is for Amazon B is for Best Buy C is for craigslist D is for dictionary E is for ebay F is for facebook G is for gmail H is for Hotmail I is for Ikea J is for Jet Blue K is for Kohls L is for Lowes M is for myspace N is for netflix O is for orbitz P is for Pandora Q is for quotes R is for realtor.com S is for Sears T is for Target U is for usps V is for verizon wireless W is for weather X is for xbox Y is for youtube Z is for zillow

Awareness test

How many passes does the team in white make?



Now you know.

Superheroes rock my dreams

For your amusement, I present an unedited description of an awesome dream I had last night:

I had Batman's cape, a wizard's wand and possessed some of Superman's powers. I used the shadow of my cape and a series of concealment spells to infiltrate a mountain controlled by Lex Luthor and an army of dark wizards and Orcs. Once inside I used my heat vision and cold breath to forge purple Kryptonite into some kind of lens that I would use to defeat Luthor.

Any Freudians or comic-book geeks want to take a crack at this one?

Trivia to show how smart you are

Here are some quick facts you can use at cocktail parties to show that you are, indeed smarter than the people around you.

-The names of the MGM Lions, in order of use are "Slats" "Jackie" "Tanner" and "Leo". There is an unnamed fourth lion in the sequence, who roared mid-1956 to early 1957.

-Lasersdisc was first sold in 1978 under the name DiscoVision. The first title marketed in North America was Jaws, and the last title released in North America was Sleepy Hollow in 2000.

- The ritual of burning sugar over a glass Absinthe dates from the late 1990's and is not a historical method of serving the drink. This is done with bohemian-style 'absinth' because it lacks many of the oils that create a louche when water is dripped in.

-The book "A Clockwork Orange" was inspired by a real assault on the author's wife. The book inspired a film, which inspired Arthur Bremer to shoot Governor George Wallace. Bremer's diary inspired the film "Taxi Driver" which in turn inspired John Hinckley, Jr. to take a few shots at Ronald Reagan. Don't ever think people can't be inspirational.

How many cubits to the furlong?

Inspired by the relative strength of the Canadian dollar, and the vintage adventures of laughing magpie, last night I decided to explore eBay for some interesting and stylish shirts and jackets.

I found some great smoking jackets, such as this little number (150167050959) that were just begging for me. Sizing can be tricky with these sorts of things, so it is always best to work from an item's dimensions rather than trying to divine what "XL" meant to another era, region, or company. I grabbed a measuring tape out of my wife's sewing kit and took my measurements. To my surprise I found that all the items I wanted would fit just nicely, if anything, they would be too big.

Using this newfound cache of eBay merchants that had stocked a wide variety of shirts and jackets in appropriate sizes, I started putting together an order. On a whim I looked at other online stores, just to compare prices. A different sizing chart pegged me as a size "medium."

There is no way on Jebus's green Earth that I'm a medium.

I measured myself again. I looked back at the chart. Something was wrong. Then I did something seemingly silly. I measured my tape measure. Calibrating one's instruments is an important step in science, and a lesson quickly forgotten in a home environment.



My "inch" divisions were about an inch and a quarter, according to every other yardstick and tape measure in the house. The bogus tape measure is now in the trash, and I am really glad I didn't complete any transactions.

There is the possibility that all the rulers are wrong, so what I really need is a iodine-stabilized Helium-Neon laser.

Flickr Thumbnail Simulacrum

Frankreich - 17-20.08.2007 - 145.jpg
Originally uploaded by arno-hh.

The thumbnail of this picture from Flickr looks rather anatomical. Open the image to see what it really is.

Concentric rings mark the earth

There are some interesting concentric rings carved into the ground at the Canadian Forces Base Suffield near Medicine Hat. This "bullseye" is either part of an extensive live fire training system, or the military is communicating with beings from beyond Pluto.

Buffalo Redux

As a follow-up to my previous post about Bison Behaviour, here is a great cartoon by Greg Williams about the phenomenon. I'm surprised no one has corrected the phrase noting that "American Buffalo" are "Bison", and not true buffalo. The sentence still stands as a high mark in both linguistic gymnastics and absurdist comedy.

Buffalo buffalo comic
Originally uploaded by versesane, gangked from Wikipedia

This image is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.5 License.

Bison Behaviour

You talking to me Punk?
Originally uploaded by Wildcaster.

Four years ago, a behavioural study was launched in New York state Bison farms to find out why otherwise docile animals were becoming aggressive and intimidating. They eventually concluded that Bison from upstate New York who are intimidated by other bison in their community also happen to intimidate other bison in their community.

In other words, Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. [link]

Centre of the Television Universe

Consider, for a moment, the phenomenon of crossovers and spin-offs of television series. Characters from a long running popular show may eventually get their own show, such as Angel from Buffy or Trapper John, MD from M*A*S*H. Sometimes two shows exist independently, but because they are both produced by the same company, they will crossover characters and storyline, often during sweeps weeks. For example, on "Blackout Thursday" (November 3, 1994) a mishap on Mad About You caused the power in much of Manhattan to go out, which entered the plots of that night's episodes of Friends and Madman of the People.

These crossovers often form a "universe" or general continuity. These are often given names such as the "Buffyverse" or "Whoniverse" for their respective collections. Given that, consider that if every crossover was mapped out, the whole connected group could be considered, in fan terms, to be in the same universe. A group of fans have created such a map, and here what such a map looks like:

Larger image

The motivation for compiling such a list came from the ending of the 1980's doctor drama St. Elsewhere. In the final moments of the last episode, it was revealed that the entire run of the show was the dream of an autistic child named Tommy Westphall. The ending is a cop-out from an otherwise well-written series, but the implications were thus:

If "St Elsewhere" exists only within Tommy Westphall's mind, then so does every other series set within the same fictional sphere.

Once fans started tracking the numerous crossovers and spin-offs from St Elsewhere, they created a map of 282 shows, all connecting to the intersection of "St Elsewhere and Homicide," and dubbing this phenomenon the "Tommy Westphall Universe."

We are through the looking glass here people.

Links

• Tommy Westphall's Mind: A Multiverse Explored
  
• The Map (PDF)
  
• The Key (PDF)
• The Whole thing (PDF)

Passing Thoughts: Monopoly

I thought I might help break the Cable Company's monopoly on television by switching to Bell Express View. While I'm at it, I should switch to Shaw phone service to wrest a little control away from Ma Bell. That'll show 'em.

To make things really interesting, I should schedule both technicians to arrive at the same time.

Steal These Ideas

Michael Ciuffo is an Idea Man. Like many Idea Men, their minds can reach beyond what their hands can grasp. The number of hours available in a day are not enough to follow through on every thought, but many deserve some sort of investigation.

To maximize the potency of his ideas, Michael posts them publicly to his blog and encourages everyone to "Steal My Ideas" and manipulate them, and explore them. Some ideas are ridiculous exercises, some are witty jokes, others are patentable designs.

I really like this Lego-like ice block maker for fort building.

Jedi Chefs change my worldview

When I woke up this morning, I thought I had it all together. I thought I knew how things worked. The sky is blue, the atomic weight of Argon was 39.94, the Ocean was salty, and the Sun was wicked hot. Now I'm not so sure.

My world has been turned turvy-topsy by my discovery of "Jedi Chefs." This costuming sect based on equal parts Star Wars and the food network, attend sci-fi/fantasy/comic conventions to "do the same sorts of things that normal Jedi do, but...also cook." They sport comic floppy chef hats and lightsabers, and encourage the attending celebrities to do the same.

Here is Nathan Fillion dressed as a Jedi Chef. This image makes the parts of my brain that govern fandom twitch and smoke trying to resolve the joyful dissonance.

But he is not alone in a culinary conversion, as plenty of celebrities have been inducted into the ranks. They have gotten to most of the cast of Firefly, including Summer Glau, but also Armin Shimmerman from Star Trek and Colin Baker, the sixth Doctor Who.

See http://www.jedichefs.com/celebrities.html for the full list.

I think it is funny, as I think they are poking gentle fun at people who take costuming and Star Wars too seriously. Does someone have a better explanation?

Slashboing On Vacation

I will be on Vacation from the end of this post until the end of December. I hope to post again before the new year.

Until then, I present the following image for pondering possibilities. The image is from US patent 6,500,041 for "Animated headsets." This is proof that just because an idea is patentable, it is not necessarily useful.

Funny Wikipedia Category

I found a great collection of Fictional Balls on Wikipedia. If you can read that with no giggling, you are more mature than I.

Bigger, funnier and better conceived posts are in the works, so hang on.

"Some balls are held for charity, and some for fancy dress, but when they're held for pleasure they're the balls that I like best." - AC/DC "Big Balls"

Spam Haiku

Lodged in the webspace of John Y. N. Cho, a member of the weather sensing group in the Lincoln Laboratory of MIT, is the greatest collection of Spam Haiku ever constructed.

At http://web.mit.edu/jync/www/spam/ one will find over 19,000 Haiku written about the Hormel potted meat product, SPAM. Monty Python may have sung about it but the contributors to this site wax poetically about the pinkish "meat."

The collection became large enough and popular enough to warrant the printing of a book. Spam-Ku: Tranquil Reflections on Luncheon Loaf is available from Amazon.com.

My favourite from the archive is #4654:

Is saying "I'm pink
Therefore I'm SPAM" putting the
Hog before Descartes?
--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

Best headline in recorded history

"How did sex-for-drugs prison arrest turn deadly?"

From CNN.com I read this amazing headline today. Who could ask for more? Let us run the checklist shall we?

• Sex? - got it
• Drugs? - yep
• Law enforcement? - Prison officials and the FBI
• Violence? - deadly
• Famous person involved? - No.

The absence of a famous or semi-famous person makes the story a little less than full feeding frenzy, but the quality of the headline stands.

It doesn't give too much away and it draws the reader in. Huzza for crooked prison guards in Florida and the lucky copywriters at CNN!