2) Forced Über-awesomeness.
These seem to be created using mad-libs.
When I'm not rescuing [cute animals] in [far off land] I can be found [verbing] my collection of [precious gem] covered [extreme sport vehicles]. For either task, I enjoy the [bodypart] improving taste/smell of [product I'm endorsing]. Oh, and tell Chuck Norris to shove it.
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